A friend of mine told me this story and it made me think of you.
You see, she has a garden in her backyard and her neighbors had to cut down a tree that was, surprise surprise, right next to her garden sanctuary. The crew was able to cut down the tree without it falling onto her garden. Phew!
But, as they plodded back and forth to pick up the debris, they stomped all over her garden sanctuary. She was furious because this was her little safe haven that she created for herself and her family to enjoy.
She went out to speak with the "guy in charge" and asked him not to walk through her garden. He said OK, that he’d let his crew know.
But, lo and behold, they went right on stomping through her garden, not respecting her property or her request.
That’s when she knew that she had to take more action.
So, the next day, she went out there with a yellow string, marking off her garden sanctuary.
To create a boundary.
To communicate that, "This is important to me, and you can't step all over it. That is not ok."
Boundaries are important. Super important.
If you're looking for work-life balance, feeling drowned by other peoples' obligations and expectations, or get mad at yourself because you can never say "no," then you need to work on your boundaries. And, it’s not just setting boundaries, but sticking to them even when you get push back.
You need to:
1. Get clear on what your boundaries are
2. Figure out if it needs to be communicated to someone (or is it a boundary just for you?)
3. Analyze the consequence of setting the boundary vs. not setting it (and, yes, there are consequences to not taking action as much as there is to taking action)
4. Communicate the boundary (if needed)
5. Be willing to follow through on the consequences
There isn't a single thing about this process that's easy or comfortable, especially if you're a born people-pleaser like me.
And yet, it's one of the most important things you can do to preserve your sanity, energy, and compassion for yourself and others.
If any bit of this feels stressful to you, don't worry. The Reclaim Your Radiance program has an entire module dedicated to setting boundaries and will take you step-by-step through this process.
You'll get a framework to stand firm in your boundaries with confidence so you can live your best life, without feeling drained, disrespected, and overwhelmed in your everyday life.
Be the first to hear when the doors open to Reclaim Your Radiance.