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I'll never forget that time I went backpacking through Europe with my best friend after graduating college. I thought I was being minimalist and hip with my Eddie Bauer backpack that my brother gifted me before the trip. Packed to the brim with quick dry sundresses, toiletries, my camera and film (yes, this was back in the days of film!).
Little did I realize that my "minimalist" backpack was actually super heavy to carry around the streets of Paris. My friend and I decided we had to send back some of our stuff. There was no way we were going to be able travel around for 3 weeks in Europe with these backpacks on, not to mention get souvenirs along the way. We packed up all the extra "things" and went to the post office to mail it back to the U.S. Now, of course, back home, I would never wear the same 3 outfits in rotation, washing them in the bathroom sink each night and hanging them up to dry only to wear again the next day. But, when you're a fresh college graduate backpacking through hostels in Europe, that's totally normal. So, why am I telling you this story? Well, I thought of it for a couple reasons. First, I chatted with a friend from Paris last week on her podcast, and it made me think of all things Paris :-) Also, because life is always changing. What you need in one moment is completely different than what you need in another moment. Depending on where you are and the circumstances, you need to adjust, adapt, and flow. But, so often you're looking for balance.... ...the complete opposite of what you really need, which is to be able to flow with ease through the ever-changing landscape of life. So, in this podcast that I recorded recently with my new Parisian friend, Melissa, we talk about why:
Listen all the way to the end for my invitation to a "challenge" that'll set you up to start feeling happy in the now...it's completely free and easy to do! Oh, and after you listen, leave a comment below to let me know if you accepted my invitation and what you thought of the episode! Can't wait to hear from you!!
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A friend of mine told me this story and it made me think of you.
You see, she has a garden in her backyard and her neighbors had to cut down a tree that was, surprise surprise, right next to her garden sanctuary. The crew was able to cut down the tree without it falling onto her garden. Phew! But, as they plodded back and forth to pick up the debris, they stomped all over her garden sanctuary. She was furious because this was her little safe haven that she created for herself and her family to enjoy. She went out to speak with the "guy in charge" and asked him not to walk through her garden. He said OK, that he’d let his crew know. But, lo and behold, they went right on stomping through her garden, not respecting her property or her request. That’s when she knew that she had to take more action. So, the next day, she went out there with a yellow string, marking off her garden sanctuary. To create a boundary. To communicate that, "This is important to me, and you can't step all over it. That is not ok." Boundaries are important. Super important. If you're looking for work-life balance, feeling drowned by other peoples' obligations and expectations, or get mad at yourself because you can never say "no," then you need to work on your boundaries. And, it’s not just setting boundaries, but sticking to them even when you get push back. You need to: 1. Get clear on what your boundaries are 2. Figure out if it needs to be communicated to someone (or is it a boundary just for you?) 3. Analyze the consequence of setting the boundary vs. not setting it (and, yes, there are consequences to not taking action as much as there is to taking action) 4. Communicate the boundary (if needed) 5. Be willing to follow through on the consequences There isn't a single thing about this process that's easy or comfortable, especially if you're a born people-pleaser like me. And yet, it's one of the most important things you can do to preserve your sanity, energy, and compassion for yourself and others. If any bit of this feels stressful to you, don't worry. The Reclaim Your Radiance program has an entire module dedicated to setting boundaries and will take you step-by-step through this process. You'll get a framework to stand firm in your boundaries with confidence so you can live your best life, without feeling drained, disrespected, and overwhelmed in your everyday life. Be the first to hear when the doors open to Reclaim Your Radiance. April sucked.
There I said it. Even me, a self-care, resiliency, wellness guide and physician who's always looking on the bright side has hard days. In this case, a hard month. Without getting into all the details, it was a month of tremendous loss and grieving. Of feeling all those super hard, big emotions that make you think about existential things like the meaning of life. I talk about living radiantly all the time, right? That's my whole thing. And now, I'm going to let you in on a secret.... I didn't learn how to live radiantly because my life was perfect. It was through these tough moments that brought tears to my eyes, tested my strength, and forced me to dig deep. Those are the moments that taught me how to live radiantly. So, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that:
Literally, the word emotion comes from the Latin "emovere," which means to move out. Don't hold your feelings in. Let them flow through you in whatever way feels right. Here are some examples of how you can do that:
I have space set aside on my calendar just for conversations like this. First let me know what's going on and what areas you're looking for support by filling out this form. After that, you'll get a link to schedule a chat. If you'd rather have the support of a group, then my Reclaim Your Radiance program is for you. We'll meet weekly and you'll learn time-tested tools to get you through this tough time and back to feeling like yourself again. Car shopping. It's not my favorite thing (and not something I do often!). But I'm due for a new car, so I'm going to suck it up and start researching this week. I know some people LOVE the prospect of car shopping. Test driving different models and checking out all the special add-ons. (I don't even know if I'm using the right terminology!) For me, I need a car that's comfortable, secure, and will safely get me from point A to point B. It's a vehicle. No matter where you're going, whether to work or the grocery store, you need a vehicle to get you there. Now, your "vehicle" may be your body if you're walking. Or, it could be a car, bus, or train. What about in life though? What's the vehicle that’ll get you from where you are now to where you want to go? To living that ideal life you've been dreaming of. I propose that it's also a CAR, where: C = Clarity A = Acceptance R = Rebuilding These are the 3 components of my Radiant Living Method. First, you need to Get Clear. What does life look like for you now, and what do you want it to look like? What are the obstacles standing in your way? After answering these questions, you create space to allow for creative solutions. Second, is Acceptance. Tuning into your physical body and it's signals to find non-judgemental awareness of the present moment. It's from this place that you move into transformation and making real change. Third, is Rebuilding. After focusing on the "inner work," you move into rebuilding your external world to reflect what's most important to you. So that your career and relationships become a source of joy, instead of stress and overwhelm. I've guided over 100 women through this process in the Reclaim Your Radiance group program. Women who felt stuck in their career, relationships, and self-identity. They went through this program and got to the other side with clarity, strength, and joy to build the career, relationships, and lifestyle they dream of. I'm running this program again next month, and I'd love for you to join! Get on the Waitlist and I'll let you know all the details in the next few weeks. If you don't want to wait, and you're ready to test drive your CAR today… then Schedule an Illumination Call On this call, we'll start working on that first step together. You'll get clear on where you are now, what your ideal life looks like, and what obstacles are in your way. Awareness is everything! This is a no-pressure, no-pitch call with nothing to lose. Here's the thing: Self-care IS selfish, and that's a good thing!
Think about it. You do so much for everyone else. You live your life putting them first. That's so noble of you. So kind, generous, and loving. It's who you are as a person and it's one of your greatest strengths. Not everyone can give so freely of their time, energy, attention, and empathy. But, is it coming at a cost? The cost of your peace of mind and energy. Do you feel:
If so, take a moment to acknowledge that. Those feelings are valid. Now, I also invite you to acknowledge that you don't have to stay there. Maybe, just maybe, being "selfish" about your peace of mind and energy is the exact thing you need right now? Forget about the massages, spa days, and yoga classes. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the self-care that's about maintaining your peace of mind and energy. So that you can give, love, and serve in the world without feeling depleted and resentful. So that you can show up in all the ways you're meant to and with a joy that radiates from within. This is possible, even if you're going through a divorce, career burnout, the loss of a job or a loved one. These moments of crisis and grieving can actually be the greatest catalyst for discovering what's really important to you and letting go of the rest. This can feel hard and scary though. I know, and that's why I offer a free, no strings attached, Illumination Call. So that you have a space to allow yourself to:
It's super easy to schedule a call! Fill out this form and then you'll get a link to schedule your call (this should all take no more than 5-10 minutes). |
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