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I'll never forget that time I went backpacking through Europe with my best friend after graduating college. I thought I was being minimalist and hip with my Eddie Bauer backpack that my brother gifted me before the trip. Packed to the brim with quick dry sundresses, toiletries, my camera and film (yes, this was back in the days of film!).
Little did I realize that my "minimalist" backpack was actually super heavy to carry around the streets of Paris. My friend and I decided we had to send back some of our stuff. There was no way we were going to be able travel around for 3 weeks in Europe with these backpacks on, not to mention get souvenirs along the way. We packed up all the extra "things" and went to the post office to mail it back to the U.S. Now, of course, back home, I would never wear the same 3 outfits in rotation, washing them in the bathroom sink each night and hanging them up to dry only to wear again the next day. But, when you're a fresh college graduate backpacking through hostels in Europe, that's totally normal. So, why am I telling you this story? Well, I thought of it for a couple reasons. First, I chatted with a friend from Paris last week on her podcast, and it made me think of all things Paris :-) Also, because life is always changing. What you need in one moment is completely different than what you need in another moment. Depending on where you are and the circumstances, you need to adjust, adapt, and flow. But, so often you're looking for balance.... ...the complete opposite of what you really need, which is to be able to flow with ease through the ever-changing landscape of life. So, in this podcast that I recorded recently with my new Parisian friend, Melissa, we talk about why:
Listen all the way to the end for my invitation to a "challenge" that'll set you up to start feeling happy in the now...it's completely free and easy to do! Oh, and after you listen, leave a comment below to let me know if you accepted my invitation and what you thought of the episode! Can't wait to hear from you!!
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A friend of mine told me this story and it made me think of you.
You see, she has a garden in her backyard and her neighbors had to cut down a tree that was, surprise surprise, right next to her garden sanctuary. The crew was able to cut down the tree without it falling onto her garden. Phew! But, as they plodded back and forth to pick up the debris, they stomped all over her garden sanctuary. She was furious because this was her little safe haven that she created for herself and her family to enjoy. She went out to speak with the "guy in charge" and asked him not to walk through her garden. He said OK, that he’d let his crew know. But, lo and behold, they went right on stomping through her garden, not respecting her property or her request. That’s when she knew that she had to take more action. So, the next day, she went out there with a yellow string, marking off her garden sanctuary. To create a boundary. To communicate that, "This is important to me, and you can't step all over it. That is not ok." Boundaries are important. Super important. If you're looking for work-life balance, feeling drowned by other peoples' obligations and expectations, or get mad at yourself because you can never say "no," then you need to work on your boundaries. And, it’s not just setting boundaries, but sticking to them even when you get push back. You need to: 1. Get clear on what your boundaries are 2. Figure out if it needs to be communicated to someone (or is it a boundary just for you?) 3. Analyze the consequence of setting the boundary vs. not setting it (and, yes, there are consequences to not taking action as much as there is to taking action) 4. Communicate the boundary (if needed) 5. Be willing to follow through on the consequences There isn't a single thing about this process that's easy or comfortable, especially if you're a born people-pleaser like me. And yet, it's one of the most important things you can do to preserve your sanity, energy, and compassion for yourself and others. If any bit of this feels stressful to you, don't worry. The Reclaim Your Radiance program has an entire module dedicated to setting boundaries and will take you step-by-step through this process. You'll get a framework to stand firm in your boundaries with confidence so you can live your best life, without feeling drained, disrespected, and overwhelmed in your everyday life. Be the first to hear when the doors open to Reclaim Your Radiance. |
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