Someone asked me this question recently:
Can you make a video or meditation about fears and anxieties surrounding missing out on things and life experiences? I feel like there's so much I want to do in my life and whether I'll be able to accomplish my goals, not knowing how long this will last?
What a great question! We're in a time of such uncertainty. What about all those goals, dreams, and desires you had for the year? What do you do with those now? How can you shift from FOMO (fear of missing out) into a sense of fulfillment?
I made an audio recording to answer this question. In it, I give you 3 steps to go from FOMO to fulfillment. You can listen to it here. Or, if you prefer to read my response, keep reading below.
I'm going to answer this question in 3 parts:
1. Getting comfortable with the uncertainty
2. Understanding your why
3. Building affirmation
First, I want to address the uncertainty about how long this will last. This is, by far, one of the hardest parts of this whole situation. We have no idea how long it's going to last. That uncertainty can be hard to wrap your mind around. The world looks a lot different now than we knew it even a few months ago. And, the fact is we don't know how long this is going to last. We don't have a clear end point.
What we do know is that when things assume some version of normalcy, the world will be a different place. Whenever faced with a crisis, either individually or globally as we are now, it leaves lasting change. Things can't go back to exactly how they were before this crisis hit. All situations in life come to show us something. To encourage us to dive deeper and learn more about ourselves and the world we live in. And so, the first step in addressing your question is acknowledging the uncertainty. And, finding acceptance with the world looking different from now on. So, this is the first step.
Then, coming from this foundation of knowing that the world is changing. We don't know which parts of our lives are going to remain the same, and which will parts will change forever. So, from that starting point, I want you to examine your goals. So, go ahead and jot some of those goals on a sheet of paper.
Now, look at your list of goals. And, I want you to think about your why behind those goals. Why do you want to achieve those specific outcomes? What do you hope to achieve in doing so? How will it make you feel? How will it impact your life and the lives of others? Go ahead and take a few moments to jot your thoughts down.
Understanding your why, as you did in this exercise, will help you achieve your goals. Tony Robbins talks a lot about your why in his RPM method. RPM stands for Rapid Planning Method. Simon Sinek also gave a great Ted Talk about understanding your why, and also wrote a book on the same topic. The idea behind getting clear on your why is that it allows space for your how to unfold. What I mean is you might have a clear idea on action steps you think you need to take to achieve your goals. But, in this changing world, those action steps that you thought of a few months ago may not be relevant anymore. And so, if you're looking just at the action steps or the goal without understanding your why, then that can feel very discouraging.
But, if you know your why, then your mind will search for different ways to fulfill it. Your mind will start to search for creative solutions and opportunities. This happens automatically. When you get clear on your why, you send a message to a part of your brain called the reticular activating system. This is the part of your brain that filters out sensory messages. It only lets the important messages get through to your conscious mind. So, in this way, your mind starts to look out for any resources or information to help you achieve your why.
So, what I'm saying is your action steps and outcome might end up looking different than what you expected a few months ago. Allow yourself to be open to that. And, know that you can find fulfillment by making progress on your why.
Yoga talks about it this way. Yoga says perform your karmas, spiritually-aligned actions, and let go of the results. In other words, perform actions that are aligned with your highest purpose. Let go of your attachment to a specific outcome.
So far I've talked about getting comfortable with uncertainty and understanding your why. Next, I want you to build positive affirmations.
In other words, change your vocabulary from "I don't know if this will ever happen" to "I am resilient and creative solutions are all around me." In other words, change your vocabulary from uncertainty and worry to affirmation and resilience.
The words you use are powerful. There's an entire field in modern psychology dedicated to this. It's called Neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP. From the Ayurvedic perspective, the words you use carry specific energetic vibrations. Energy attracts energy, and your thoughts create your perception of reality. And, like I mentioned earlier, from the Western science perspective, affirmative statements tell your reticular activating system what to look for. It also builds positive emotion that activates your dopamine reward pathway. This makes you feel good, and so you end up wanting to seek out even more creative solutions.
So, you can see that positive affirmations are more than just a woo-woo, new age practice. There's actual science, both from the Western and Eastern perspectives, that back it up.
So, to recap and to answer your question, follow these 3 steps:
1. Acknowledge and accept the uncertainty
2. Get clear on your why
3. Build positive affirmations
So, I hope that answered the question and that you found it helpful. Leave a comment below to let me know.
If you have any other questions or other topics you want me to address, let me know that too!
Stay well. Stay safe.
I created 2 guided meditations to help you relax and accept the moment. It's undeniable that we're collectively experiencing grief and trauma. This current situation of Covid19 and physical distancing is taking it's toll on us. It may look different for each of us in some ways. But, the collective experience is one that is allowing us to shift gears in many ways. To re-examine our priorities and our general way of being. With that, comes a mix of emotions and experiences. I've created 2 meditations to help you navigate these varying experiences.
The first session is about allowing for the stages of grief to pass through you. (Please note: I realized after recording that I described one of the stages as "guilt." That was a mistake. The 5th stage is actually "depression." According to Dr. Kubler-Ross, "guilt" falls under the stage of grieving called "anger." For more on grieving, refer to the book On Grief and Grieving, by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler.)
The second session is about giving yourself permission to relax. Permission to shift from a productivity mindset to one of intuition and flow.
I hope you enjoy these sessions and that they bring an element of peace to your day! Leave a comment below letting me know how you liked the sessions!!